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Archive for August, 2010

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From my experience while traveling the path of spiritual growth, I can confidently say that once you begin in earnest to seek a deeper understanding of yourself, as well as the nature of existence itself, it’s impossible to turn back. The more you open your mind to new ideas and concepts, the more you will want to explore. There is no way around it; it actually gets into your blood.

This discovery is a fascinating process; one that is incredibly rewarding, and at times very demanding as well, simply because spiritual growth requires that you step out of your comfort zone. It also requires that you become increasingly open-minded, and focus more and more of your attention on the present (i.e., on this life), rather than looking toward the potential afterlife rewards typically touted by organized religion.

Traversing this path is a lot like walking a high wire without a safety net, because unlike traditional religious practice there is no rigid dogma that exists to provide you with all of the ‘answers’. Instead, on this path you take on the responsibility for finding your own answers to questions such as: Who or what is God? What is the proper code of conduct for me to follow? What is the purpose of my life? What is the meaning of life in general?

The decision to take responsibility for discovering your inner truth requires that you embark on a quest to develop your own spiritual philosophy. This does not automatically mean you must completely discard your traditional religious beliefs, but it does require that you be willing to question literally every aspect of what you have been taught. It also means that you learn to challenge everything you hear and read as you move along this path, including the contents of this article.

In other words, you no longer simply accept something based solely on what another person’s religious doctrine, or philosophical author tells you is true. Instead, you closely examine it and ask yourself if that truth actually feels right to you. If the insight or concept doesn’t resonate positively within you, this is usually a clear signal that it is time for you to put it aside and replace it with something that will.

The following passage from Michael Newton’s book Destiny of Souls confirms how very important it is for each of us to define our own spiritual truth: 

“Because each of us is a unique being different from all others, it is incumbent upon those who desire internal peace to find their own spirituality. When we totally align ourselves to belief systems based upon the experience of other people, I feel we lose something of our individuality in the process. The road to self-discovery and shaping a philosophy not designed by the doctrines of organizations takes effort but the rewards are great.”

Many in the traditional religious community might argue that having ‘faith’ means we may not question established religious doctrine, for the sheer act of doubting what we have been taught to believe is to be considered blasphemous behavior. As this quotation from Fr. Anthony DeMello’s book Awareness illustrates, however, that is really not what faith is all about:

“An openness to the truth, no matter what the consequences,no matter where it leads you and when you don’t even know where it’s going to lead you. That’s faith. Not belief, but faith. Your beliefs give you a lot of security, but faith is insecurity. You don’t know. You’re ready to follow and you’re open, you’re wide open! You’re ready to listen.”

This doesn’t mean that you become gullible and immediately accept new information to replace the old, but instead you learn to question everything – new and old – with an open mind. It is also essential for you to understand there is nothing at all irreverent about questioning traditional religious concepts, for even Buddha himself cautioned against blindly embracing his teachings when he said:

“Monks and scholars must not accept my words out of respect, but must analyze them the way that a goldsmith analyzes gold, by cutting, scraping, rubbing, melting.” 

In developing your own spiritual philosophy, it is very important that you, too, adopt a similar approach. Additionally, you can accelerate your spiritual growth by not limiting yourself with respect to what types of self-development books you will read, tapes you will listen to, or seminars and workshops you will attend. Even if some of the content you encounter appears to be a bit ‘out there’, you never know what gems you may uncover as you proceed through the remainder of the material.

I know this to be true, since on my own shelves there are a number of books that at first glance contained a lot of material that either didn’t interest me, or was in my judgment, somewhat bizarre. Interestingly, it was within many of those same books that I ultimately found incredibly inspirational and/or thought-provoking passages. In several instances it was necessary to read perhaps a hundred pages to find even one such passage, but in the end the discovery was well worth the reading time invested. I experienced essentially the same thing with various self-help audio programs as well; there was always something of value to be found within them.

Before leaving this subject, it is important to note there are many who would argue that the development of individualized spiritual philosophies is potentially problematic, particularly given the so-called natural tendency of human beings to be self-serving. In other words, if people are left up to their own devices, what feels spiritually right to them may not be in the best interests of the aggregate society or culture.

In response to this, one need merely look at the success that organized religion as a whole has had in fostering peace and goodwill throughout the world; regrettably, much of the ongoing conflict in the world is based on some form of religious disagreement. So, could things really become any worse if people assumed the responsibility for developing their own spiritual philosophies? From my perspective, they could only improve.

(The preceding article is an adapted excerpt from Spirituality Simplified, Copyright 2002, by Jeff Maziarek.)

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Great deal, quantity is misleading… in a good way – W. L. Holder – Phoenix, AZ, USA
The quantity here is misleading in a way, a good way. This is NOT a pack of 10 matches, or even 10 packs of 20 matches. This is 10 packages containing 45 matches, for a total of 450 WATERPROOF MATCHES.

They are basic wooden stick matches, coated in a varnish of some sort to prevent water or moisture from ruining them. They must be struck on the sandpaper sides of the box to light, they are not strike anywhere.

I have messed around with a bunch of them. They all work, and they are all waterproof so far.

The boxes are even nice, made of a thin balsa wood vernier of some sort. They are not as easily crushed and mangled as your typical cardboard box of 25 stick matches.
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We have purchased the Andrew Doughty Guidebooks for each of our island trips and our trips have been so enhanced and helped by the insights on his pages. If you are going to any of the Hawaiian Islands, make sure you take the appropirate Guidebook from Doughty for the best possible trip! He is truthful and humorous about all adventures.
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Within the period of three months, I lost three loved ones. Two of them died three days apart. Although I knew the end was eminent as I processed each situation, my knowledge and anticipation did not soothe me – it only served to bring me closer to the inevitability of my own mortality.

Some say that God will never burden us with more that we can endure – those words seem like idle chatter – it was all too much to bear. I braced myself for the predictability and shock of my pain and sought to manage its effects. There has been no single road that has brought me solace. Each day I meander within trying to find a place of peace or respite from it all.

I’m supposed to know this stuff. As a psychotherapist, I teach people how to grieve. It’s different, however, when you are the patient rather than the teacher. You become as everyone else, relying on your instincts, courage, hope and faith to guide you through the darkness. What good is it to recite Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ stages of grief when you are the griever? Talking about loss is not the same as experiencing it.

Each of us, in our own way is frail and vulnerable. As psychotherapist Sheldon B. Kopp used to say, “No one is any weaker or stronger than anyone else.” Each of us has a story, some of it wondrous and much of it challenging. Our narrative is about learning, and our losses teach us about the meaning and value of life – to cherish every single moment. Grieving our losses gives us an opportunity to take stock and review our life direction. We hopefully assess what really counts and focus our attention on that which lasts – the content of our character and the quality of our most precious relationships. That is all we have.

Unfortunately, as we age, our losses mount. We grieve the loss of youth, physical prowess, time, missed opportunities and fading friendships. Each must grieve in his own way. I have learned that there is no such thing as closure – some wounds never heal.

I have told others that we don’t need to stay stuck in our pain. All of us can find ways to manage our grief so that even if it lingers, it doesn’t overwhelm us. Like others, I must remember to:

o Seek the emotional support of friends and family.

o Acknowledge and embrace my pain rather than minimize its significance.

o Refocus attention on activities that bring pleasure.

o Learn this self-nurture. Treat myself the way I would a dear friend.

o Keep the positive memories of loved ones alive.

o Try not to fight my way out of depression. It will lift.

o Live in the present and re-evaluate life priorities.

o Rely on faith to provide me with hope.

o Realize that being vulnerable makes me more human and is a connecting asset.

o Learn to leave the self-pity behind. Accept the fact that I am a grown-up who experiences life as unfair. There are no sufficient reasons why certain things have happened to me.

As a grieving patient, I have a better understanding of what it takes to wind oneself down a path of profound loss – no words are adequate to describe the experience. Contrary to what others think, I do not believe that what I have encountered will make me stronger. I only hope that my experience with lingering loss will make my vision clearer as I look through the eyes of those who have suffered and continue to seek my help.

James P. Krehbiel, Ed.S, LPC, is an author, freelance writer, and nationally certified cognitive-behavioral therapist practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona. James is the featured Shrink Rap columnist for http://TheImproper.com, an upscale arts, entertainment and lifestyle web magazine. He has contracted with New Horizon Press to publish his latest work entitled, Troubled Childhood, Triumphant Life. This book is about the impact of “unavailable” parenting on adults and the people they become. His book will be available March 1, 2010 but now can be pre-ordered through Amazon.com. James can be reached at http://KrehbielCounseling.com.

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“Mike Knight” by The Echo Jinx Cruisin’ in my ’82 jet black Trans Am T-Top let down to show who I am Members Only, polo shirt, tight jeans, curly fro Hopped in my cool ride, I’m always on the go Chasing all the bad guys, kissing all the pretty chicks A day in the life, average joes can’t handle it I gotta call from Devin, Bonny is in trouble Super Pursuit Mode, I’m’ in there in a double Micheal Knight where are you Michael Knight we got a mission to do Micheal Knight, I’m on the way Micheal Knight, I came to save the day I’m tired of driving, KITT is taking over Red light is guiding us, traffic is moving slower Trapped in the ally way, back up, turbo boost Thrust from my talking ride, got me jumping over roofs With a message from my walkie talky watch It’s time to go, roll the credits to the Knight Rider show When the sun goes down, I fade in to the night Press the ejection seat, and prepare for the fight Walkie talky my ride, it drives it’s self Meet me in the corner and break away in stealth

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Unemployment figures are not encouraging these days. If the current financial woes are not corrected soon, experts predict more job losses on the horizon. You can read other articles on how US jobs will be affected. My concern is that many more families may lose their health benefits when they lose their jobs.

Of course, most of us have heard of COBRA laws. This law provides for the continuation of a group health plan for several months after a job loss. However, not all companies fall under the COBRA laws, so not every employee is protected. In addition, covered employees will probably find out that their premium will be much more expensive. This is because the company does not have to contribute to the plan any longer, and the ex-employee will be responsible for the entire amount. I have talked to many people who lost their jobs, and they were shocked to see just how much their company had paid for their health insurance. It would not be unusual for an employee contribution to jump from a few hundred dollars a month to over a thousand dollars a month.

Another option is to look at individual health insurance plans. For healthy people, especially fairly young people, premiums can be more affordable than group rates. This is because the companies are usually allowed to cherry pick their customers, and so they only have to take people who are healthy. That way, they can keep the rates low. Some minor health conditions may cause a higher premium, while major health conditions can result in declines though.

So I would always advise a person with health issues to try to keep their group coverage if they can. However, I would advise a healthy family, especially one in their 30s or 40s, to compare individual health insurance rates. An exception to that would be a case where the mother of the family may become pregnant, or already is pregnant. Many individual health insurance plans do not include maternity coverage unless the pregnancy causes complications. In general, pregnant women will be covered better under a group health plan. In some states, individual health insurance companies will decline any family with a pregnant family member.

Now some states do have other protections for lower income families, or families with a pregnant females. It is worth looking into these plans if other options are not available or not affordable. Even though these plans are for lower income families, in some cases the income range goes into middle income. For instance, one state’s children’s health insurance program does cover pregnant mothers too.

Of course, another option is to try to find any job that offers health insurance, even if it is not the perfect job. In the best case, unemployed people would want to use their time to find a better job that suits their skills and personality. However, if you have a health problem that requires health insurance, it may be best to go out and get coverage by working in a lower paying job that includes a good group health plan. I think it is too bad that this is the case, but it may be reality for some people.

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