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Becoming a single mother involves a lot of trials and difficulties. Once you’ve learned that you will be a mother, you will feel mixed emotions. You will feel excited and happy about the new life that you are about to give. You might even find it hard to have the courage to continue because of the hardships that you will be facing. Nevertheless, you will also be prepared with the different roles involved in being a mother. You will be your child’s first teacher, friend, inspiration and more.

Upon learning that you will become a single mother, you are about to face another chapter of your life. Statistics have shown that almost 60 percent of those who were born during 1984 are from single parents. This study was done by the American Journal of Community Psychology in the 1990′s. The Bureau of Census has reported that almost 25 percent of the families in the United States comprise single mothers. This report was made during the year 2005. In becoming a single mother, you do not need to face every problem along because assistance will be provided to you.

How to play the role of a single mother if you’re going to school or you have work

In general, almost thirty five percent of the entire population is composed of single mothers who are just beginning their journey towards motherhood. In contrast to what people thought, women who are single mothers are those who have full time jobs. Based from statistics, fifty percent of single mothers have full time jobs and thirty percent are working on a part time work. Also based from the same study, there were only at least six percent of single mothers who are under the program of Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (TANF). This program is actually under the single mother and welfare program policies. Single mothers who are under the said program are often the young ones, mostly teenagers. These teenagers do not have a source of income and did not have proper education to be employed.

Most single mothers who have children whose age are below five are the most prevalent in the working industry. However, being a single parent and having a full time job is no easy task. It involves greater responsibility. Mornings are often hard because aside from preparing for work, you will also have to prepare for your work. It is very exhausting yet you will surely enjoy it as long as your child is happy and contented. Single mothers are not different from married mothers. They also spend the same amount of time with their children and enjoy bonding times with them. The positive side of being a single mother is that your attention is just directed to your child.

How does it feel to be alone in taking care of your child?

Even if you are a single parent to your child, you can make your child feel loved and provide comfort. You can play the role of a father and a mother to your child. It is your responsibility to teach your child with the proper values, behaviors, and conducts to your child. Adequate support is provided to single mothers who try their best to provide the best quality of living to their beloved children. Not because you are a single mother, doesn’t necessarily mean that you will need to face motherhood alone. There are a lot of support groups out there that are always there to welcome mothers who are single and needs support. As long as the child is loved and cared for, there will be no problems in being a single mother.

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Scientific studies conclude something mothers everywhere have always intuitively known – that the unique love they have for their offspring is vitally important to their development. A mother‘s love and nurturing even directly impacts the biological development of the child’s brain and central nervous system. In effect, mother and child are “hard-wired” for mutual love. The brain is like a template designed to await molding by its early environment. One researcher even wrote that hugs and kisses during the early critical periods assist in making neurons grow and connect properly with other neurons.

Throughout childhood, warm human love and touch generate an internal release of addicting and pleasurable opiates. Even teenagers (who may act as if they don’t need the parents at all) must receive ongoing neural synchrony – love – from the parents. The brain and heart appear literally designed for love, with happiness and even health depending on it.

The pituitary hormone, oxytocin, is present during all loving acts but most especially at birth where it serves to stimulate uterine contractions, and during nursing for the milk ejection reflex. It, along with the nursing hormone, prolactin, help create that intense feeling of love shared by mother and child. Endorphins are physiological chemicals that are also released in both the mother and child during loving contact. They create a feel-good high for both and thus play a critical role in encouraging affection and dependency.

When bonding fails, it is theorized that the absence of these pleasure chemicals can leave a void, making such children especially susceptible to drugs that can also release such pleasure chemicals. The stress hormone cortisol is also released when touch and love are lacking. Sensory deprivation in mother-absent children – a form of stress that stimulates the release of cortisol – can increase susceptibility to abnormalities such as depression, violence, substance abuse, and even impaired immune response.

The most natural way mothers deal with newborns in the majority of the world is with an in-arms approach. In more primitive cultures where mothers are barely allowed a break from work to give birth, babies are swaddled to the body creating constant contact and reassurance. This bathes tissues in love hormones and encourages development of healthy neural connections, particularly as the synaptic connections in the cortex develop for the first two years of life.

There is also heart-to-heart, quite literally, between mother and child. Heart muscle cells not only contract, but also communicate with one another. Isolating one cell from the heart in a petri dish causes it to lose its rhythm and begin to fibrillate until it dies. Putting two cells in proximity to one another causes them to synchronize and beat in unison. There is an unseen and as yet unmeasured communication between living cells. The beating of the mother‘s heart and her breathing pattern coordinate in a critical way with the infant’s internal rhythms. This is part of what is known as a synchronizing hormonal flow that occurs between mother and child (directly from breast milk and also from loving contact and even from proximity and thought) that help to regulate vital rhythms in the child. Mothers instinctively place their babies to their left breast, keeping their two hearts close. The mother‘s developed heart actually stimulates the newborn heart activating a dialogue between the two hearts and minds. Mother and child are more appropriately considered as one, rather than two separate entities as they bond while the child is being held and nursed.

These interesting links that science is revealing between mother and child are another proof that all life is holistic and intimately interconnected. The ideal holistic model is that which nature presents and it is clear that mother and child are meant to be intimate. Children cannot simply be cast off to be fed, clothed and housed as if that were enough. Society needs to take note of this important biology as more and more pressure is put on modern families and mothers to treat newborns as just another duty to schedule into the appointment book or to have serviced by a third party. By giving love the respect it deserves and making it the starting point of life, the odds are much greater that love will then blossom in children and be carried through to their children…and, who knows, perhaps continue on to the world at large. We could use a lot of that.

Janov, Biology of Love, 2000, Prometheus Books

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1573928291/qid=1060190175/sr=11-1/ref=sr_11_1/002-3171269-3580012#product-details

Odent, The Scientification of Love, 1999, Free Assn Books

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1853434760/qid%253D1060190558/sr%253D11-1/ref%253Dsr%255F11%255F1/002-3171269-3580012

Pearce, Evolution’s End,1993, Harper

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/006250732X/qid=1060190780/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/002-3171269-3580012

Amini et al, A General Theory of Love, 2001, Vintage Books.

, 2003; 117

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0375709223/qid=1060191020/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/002-3171269-3580012

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O mother except you no other,

No one can fill place either,

No brother, sister or father,

Only you mother and no other,

On this earth unique place you find,

So important and no one would mind,

As moon and stars always shine,

You hold position as that of power divine,

You hold all of us close to the chest,

Take great care and keep us in nest,

Worry you more and feed us best,

You make all of us happy and then rest,

You sleet in wet cloths and kept us dry

Awoke at night and stopped our cry,

Always we fell down when tried to fly

Gave us shield and cover when felt shy

You did not eat full but little saved

Faced problems more but never caved,

We were kept neat and always clean,

But you didn’t think it was mean,

I remember once mom you wept,

Havoc played by flood and house nearly swept,

You struggled very hard and together kept,

Neither you created bogey nor did you weep

Taught us lessons how to stand fast,

Hurdles to face many but not to last,

Essence of life not to be washed away,

Neither to be carried away nor to miss the way,

Such stand fast in life you always stood,

Otherwise would have starved for the want of food,

You stood like rock and done work good,

Made us so humble and taken out of wood,

What I am today all because of you,

I consider you always next to “THOU”

He is everywhere but not in race

I see His reflection on your face

Whole world exists and so do I,

Had you not been here what could see my eye?

All flash, bones and body wants to reveal something

As it is seen today would have been nothing

Words may be less and find no place

No object on earth can take place or replace

No amount of praise can do a better

Ink may not do good so as to write letter,

Even in leisure, happiness I measure,

Never get an answer and am also not sure,

Even for little pain you had simple cure,

Even at home you made us fully secured,

Even if put body and life at service,

Will do neither good and nor it suffice,

Mom I wept so much at your demise,

I found no one to console and to promise,

I may dare not and not even think,

Word of dishonor and even blink,

I may even think all mothers alike,

Whether all agree or have dislike,

With a word “mother” heart is filled,

Life becomes sweeter and doesn’t matter,

Even with the age I am still child,

Remember your beating when I grew wild,

You are laid to rest

But still you offer best,

I stand firm and loose no test,

Your good advices firmly to chest

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This is a question most of us would have never thought about as we take our mother for granted. She has been there always to take care of us. Speaking of definitions of mother, there is ample number of definitions expressing closely associated thoughts on the question what is mother?

Biologically mother is a female person, whose egg unites with a sperm, resulting in the conception of a child. A mother is the biological and/or social female parent of an offspring. In the case of a mammal such as a human, the mother gestates her child, which is called first an embryo, and then a fetus. This gestation occurs in the mother‘s uterus from conception until the fetus is sufficiently developed to be born. The mother then goes into labor and gives birth. Once the child is born, the mother produces milk in a process called lactation to feed the child.

Who is mother: Technical definitions

To the question “who is mother” there are many technical definitions. One definition says that mother is a woman who has given birth to a child. Another technical definition says that a mother is the natural or social female parent of an offspring. Mother is the woman to whom one was born. A female person who is pregnant with or gives birth to a child is called as a “would be mother” or a mother to the new born respectively.

Who is mother: Adoption of the child

It is not always necessary that somebody can only become mother if she has biologically given birth to an offspring. A woman who adopts and raises a child is more than a mother to that child. In animal kingdom also mother is referred to the female parent of an animal.

Who is mother: Sacred relationship

Mother is a term or a relationship which carries lot of respect and is closely associated with birth, nurturing, love, compassion, empathy and forgiveness. That’s why yin polarity, magnetic and nurturing, healer, mediator, soul of the world are all various connotations symbolized by mother. Further mother is also referred to one’s female ancestor, a woman who holds a position of authority and responsibility, a title for women respected for her wisdom and age and women who creates, originates or founds something.

Mother is also given as a symbol to a creative source, an origin and emotions like maternal love and tenderness, compassion, empathy and nurturing.

Familiar or colloquial terms for “who is mother” in English are:

1. Mum or mummy, is used in the UK & parts of Canada (especially Eastern Canada), Australia, and New Zealand; and also in some parts of Western Pennsylvania.

2. Mom or mommy, in most of North America (especially the U.S.). Mommy is considered baby talk. Most adults in these regions switch to the term mom as they approach the teen years. This term is also used in the British West Midlands.

3. Mam or mammy, North Wales, the South Wales valleys, Ireland, North and the East Midlands of England;

4. Mama and ma, in parts of the Middle East, Latin America, other Spanish-speaking cultures and The Netherlands. Mama is often used in rural areas of the midwest and south eastern regions of the US. Ma is a common term in various parts of the US including the north east.

5. In many other languages, similar pronunciations apply; maman in French and Farsi (Persian),maadar in Farsi (Persian), or mamma in Italian, or mãe in Portuguese. Mama, borrowed from the English, is in common use in Japan. In Hebrew the word is eema, and in many south Asian cultures and the Middle East the mother is known as amma or oma or ammi or “ummi”, or variations thereof. Many times these terms denote affection or a maternal role in a child’s life. The word originates from the Sanskrit mothru or motharaha and has taken various forms all over the world.

Who is mother: Legendary Mothers and Mother related topics

Some of the Legendary & mythological mothers are Bithiah, Gaia, Hagar , Isis , Jocasta mother of Oedipus important in Freudian psychology, Juno, Queen Maya , Euripides’ Medea , Venus and Demeter

Mother is also attached to various topics related to Mary, Attachment parenting, Breastfeeding, Jungian archetypes, Lactation, Matriarch, Matricide, Mother Goose, Matrilocality, Mother insult, Mother‘s Day, Mothers rights, Nuclear family, Oedipus complex, Parenting, Psychological bond, Mother ship ,Mother goddess, Mother Superior or Abbess

Who is Mother: Reverence of Mother and Motherhood

1. In many societies and culture God is often compared to a mother, and is worshiped in the form of the Divine Mother.

2. In social contexts as well, no person is considered as exalted and worthy of respect and service as one’s mother.

3. The tender love and care of a mother for her children is the subject of numerous artistic expressions around the world.

4. The mother is the very embodiment of love, of sacrifice, or selfless service to her children and of forbearance.

5. She is considered the first teacher of every child, and is considered the highest Guru.

6. As long as we live, we must never forget the efforts and sacrifices our mothers make to bring us up in our childhood.

7. It is said that “Since God could not appear everywhere to take care of us, He created mother.”

8. While a son can be a bad son, a mother can never be a bad mother. The mother is considered a thousand times more venerable than the father.

9. There are societies where when students graduate from their school, their teachers exhort them to consider first their mothers, followed by others, as embodiments of God.

10. Pregnant women have special privileges in many societies due to the high regard for motherhood.

11. The sanctity of motherhood was so highly regarded in many cultures that it was also extended to the animal kingdom. It was forbidden to hunt pregnant animals.

12. Reverence is also manifested in our seeing the Divine Mother in Nature, rivers and earth that nourish us.

13. Whatever may be the crime of one’s mother, she is always one’s mother and deserving of her children’s love and respect. How can we ever condemn her who nurtured us for nine months in her womb, and underwent great pains to give us birth, and to bring us up in our childhood.

After all the definitions and expression of thoughts on Mother, I still feel that “who is mother” is a question that cannot be answered satisfactorily by words and one has to experience the love, nurturing, compassion and empathy of a mother at a personal level to know what is mother. That is the glory of the mother and that is “what is mother“.

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During the wedding reception, the mother of the bride gets the chance to offer a toast for her newlywed daughter. However, it could be a really difficult process because a mother usually gets a lot of mixed emotions during this event. This difficulty could be doubled if a mother will attend the event unprepared. Seeing a daughter getting married is an exciting and sad event for a parent and delivering an appropriate speech during this affair could be difficult. But all these difficulties could be somehow appeased if you would come prepared.

These are some of a few tips that a mother could use to be able to deliver a very much-appreciated speech during her daughter’s wedding.

First, you may thank the guests that attended the wedding. Remember that this event will not be successful without the guests you invited. Thank them for their efforts to make the wedding successful and memorable for your child. You may mention some names especially the primary sponsors but you need not mention the entire guest lists because it will take a lot of time and before you knew it, the wedding reception is over.

Second, give the newlyweds an advice that they could use as their foundation for marriage. You have experienced living in a married life and you know the ups and downs or marriage. Feel free to share some tips on what have you learned during your marriage.

Third, it is your chance to formally welcome the groom as part of your family. There are some parents who do not see the worth of a guy in their daughters not until they became married. This part could not be too elaborative as it may embarrass the guy especially if there has been some bad blood with the guy in the past. A simple “Welcome to the Family” would be enough to show that you have fully accepted him.

Fourth, avoid thinking sad thoughts during speech delivery. It is really difficult not to do so but if it would allow you more time to talk rather than cry, then it will be much better. A lot of moms commit this error of thinking that they will be losing their child during speeches that’s why it disables them to deliver a good speech. It even causes them to have breakdowns!

Lastly, since tears are not avoidable during this event, be sure you have a tissue or a handkerchief before starting with your speech. It is not a good sight to have somebody with smeared mascara.

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Deciding to become a gestational surrogate mother can be exciting! It feels very good knowing that you have helped to create another family, and have changed a couple’s lives forever. But before you jump into surrogacy, there are a few vital things you need to know.

1.Its not easy

Unlike a typical pregnancy, there are many more hoops you need to jump through with surrogacy. More tests need to be done and multiples like twins and triplets are common. There will be more doctor’s appointments, and someone else will need to be updated about everything that happens.

There is no privacy in surrogacy. Things you would normally only share with your spouse now needs to be shared with another couple.

You may be asked to postpone family vacations or holidays so that you do not deliver the baby or babies in the wrong hospital. Sacrifice will have to be make.

2.It doesn’t always work

Surrogacy is very time consuming. If you are lucky, a shorter gestational surrogacy can take about a year.

On the other hand, if the medical procedures do not work the first time, you could go through three or four or more cycles, some several months apart, and have a journey last more than two years. Sometimes a surrogate mother does not get pregnant at all.

Since a surrogate mother typically does not receive her fees until she is pregnant, she should never depend on that money coming in. Often, it does not come in at all.

3.You’ll need to give yourself shots

If you haven’t found out this critical piece of gestational surrogacy information, then you need to do a lot more research before you do anything else. Gestational surrogacy requires shots.

A lot of them. You will be required to give yourself 1-3 shots daily, for more than three months. Some of these shots are little needles that resemble diabetic insulin shots, but most are the long, 2-3 inch syringes that are to be injected into the muscular part of your buttocks.

Your spouse can help you with this if possible. This part of gestational surrogacy is unpleasant, but completely necessary.

4.How do you feel about selective reduction?

Selective reduction happens when there are more than two fetuses. If you become pregnant with triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets or more, how would you feel if the doctors and intended parents wanted to “selectively reduce” aka abort some of the fetuses to get to just two?

It is important to note that you are still more than able to become a surrogate mother if you would not selectively reduce under any circumstances. It’s just important to know that and find intended parents who feel the same way.

Multiples are very common in surrogacy. Do not assume it will not happen to you.

5.You need your own lawyer

If you become a surrogate mother, you will need to sign a contract. You need your own lawyer, not a shared lawyer with the intended parents.

The intended parents will pay for the cost of your attorney to look over your contract. This is in your best interest, as your attorney may find something that would inadvertently take advantage of you.

6.Set your own fees

No two surrogacy arrangements are alike, and the fees a surrogate receives are very personal, and vary completely. If you are considering becoming a surrogate mother, you need to research the different types of fees and see which ones are appropriate for your situation.

If you do not do this prior to finding intended parents, you may feel as though you are being taken advantage of later. Knowing what fees you are looking for also makes it easier to talk about money when the time comes.

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When newcomer “wife” comes to stay in the new house with husband who is already with other male members, becomes favorable atmosphere for her. Tendency of males to attract females facilitates her to take advantage to establish own atmosphere that matches her identity. This facilitates her to run the home as she wants. On the other hand, if there is already an adult female member (mainly mother-in-law) who controlled the house, turn out to be problems for her and her. Her survival is by surrendering to adjust into the existing environment or fight to gain control to establish own environment. It is a war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, most popular of any war. It is egoistic war to establish own superiority.

A home adorned by woman is her entity. Her own values are involved in making a home that reflects her qualities. Each house interior is different from other is because her deep involvement to decorate that suits her taste. We can observe in a house purchased or hired, woman takes special interest and involve her feeling to decorate and arrange interiors that makes her comfortable. Woman modifies her house to suit her taste is the environment she makes that suits her.

The mother who is already in control of her house would not easily leave, is the same case as of politicians who hates to leave legislation membership or seat whatever we may call. This is her house as she has been involved to nurture the house since the beginning. Any challenge is the challenge to her emotions, sense of worth, identity, fondness and finally her control for own security. Thus, she would never wish newcomer to have control on what she amassed for long-long time. This is the psychological behavior with every individual/ any life form. Who creates own territory by involving sentimentally and marks psychologically or physically to declare. Depends how species behave as human declare with flags and animals with other methods. Declaring territory is the sense of security. Similarly, mother too has marked her territory and would resist to any challenge.

A son for the mother is the outgrowth of her efforts and emotional involvement. Mainly when she has one son, she expects her son to become security for the family and the old age. Honestly, no aged man or woman would wish to go to old age houses for rest of the life as long as the son is alive. Differences of new generations, old generations, and psychological war between in-laws force to leave the house.

When she hands over her son to a new woman, she is cautious that her influence on the son is not disconnected. Her influence on him is the sense of security as he obeys, cares, and respects are his attachment. The new woman (WIFE) cannot tolerate because her sense of security expects 100% involvement from her husband. Wife needs him for her and children’s safety, security, comfort and sensual attachment. The diversion of her husband’s attention would minimize her expected desires. Therefore, she declares a war against her mother-in-law aggressively to thwart the weakening realm. However, the outcome depends on how psychologically strong the son/ husband is. How much his attraction or submission to the influence is? How strong the religious influence is? How he handles the situation? Who of two women are more influential is?

99.99 % mothers win over daughter-in-laws in the countries where religious dominance rule. All religious scripts direct the son to follow, respect, care and worship mothers. Therefore, aged are still safe and living with their children. However, in the urban and advanced countries it is the opposite. In such cases, the mothers are psychologically weaker and get defeated to daughter-in-laws.

In most cases, wife’s inclination is towards her own parents above the husband’s parents. She would prefer her mother-father to stay with her provided she wins her husband’s mind to agree. The reason of this is that she lived for long-long time, made her involve and attached emotionally with the parents and mixed up intensely to understand the needs of parents and parents understand her needs subsides only when she bears her own children.

One thing I would wish to stress that even wife loves and has respect for the mother-in-law; only psychological issues disconnect them. It is not any personal conflict rather is the personality conflict. They involve in the conflict to gain/retain the status and claim rights on the son/husband’s attention. So, can retain their say and pull major attention of son/husband towards them.

o Daughter-in-law should also realize that she too would meet her daughter-in-law in her future when she becomes the mother-in-law. On the other hand, mother-in-law should realize the same way.

o Wife need to understand that mother-in-law is now aged. The behavior developed from the very beginning, some times is not easy to change. Thus becomes responsibility to understand the situation and act to drag mother-in-law towards her by affection. This technique is an influence to convince mother-in-law that “I care her more than even her son.”

o Do not hurt any one’s sentiment. Sentiment is the personal value and ego. If you hurt, you become enemy. Besides, putting your own values in front of her, listen to her too and tell to agree which ever is best. Forcing opinions and values is a root to clash.

o It is a conflict between the new and old generation. Thinking and behavior differ generation to generation. Present generation is more open, free, and demanding than the old. Mother-in-law need to know it is not her era.

o Opinion and ideological differences lead to misunderstanding.

o Psychological feelings and horrifying stories about mother-in-law create misunderstanding.

o Besides, understanding each other’s stand and responsibilities should work to eliminate feeling of insecurity.

o Egoistic approach is the root cause that I am the one who is responsible for him. Now he is an adult man can take care himself and your both.

o Exchange the affection, views, chat, good moments of your life, gifts etc to get closer.

Two different identities of different ideologies fight each other to gain control on one man. These two beloved women crush this man in their skirmishes. They do not realize the affect on the man they are fighting-for. In most cases, mother gets defeated in this episode and ends up rest of her life in the old age homes. If wife looses the war, she ends up in marriage failure. Finally, who is the looser?

Link to this article:

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As a single mom, you face unique financial challenges that women with supportive husbands do not face. As such, you need to be aware of programs that you can use to help your family financially. The government and many private organizations have options available to help single moms with their financial needs.

One common need that single moms face is health insurance. Your employer may not offer health insurance, or the premiums may be too high for you to afford. The government has programs that you can use to get insurance for your children. The most common government program is Medicaid. While Medicaid is for those on limited incomes, the income guidelines are determined based on family size, so you should see if you qualify. If you do not qualify for Medicaid, consider the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP). The income guidelines for SCHIP will be set by your state, and they are higher than Medicaid. You may be able to get health insurance for yourself through this program, depending on your state.

If you are looking for utility assistance, child care assistance, food banks, and other types of assistance programs and don’t know where to look, try dialing 2-1-1 on your phone. You can use this free service to find the programs you need. With one phone call, you can find out about assistance programs you qualify for in your area. Not all areas have the 2-1-1 program, but you can find out if yours does by simply trying the number.

If you are ready to buy a home, there are programs for single moms to help with the home buying process. To start, talk to your local housing authority. This organization may be able to point you towards assistants programs in your area. You can also talk to a Housing and Urban Development (HUD) counselor. You may be able to buy a house through HUD, and HUD has several mortgage assistance programs for you to consider. The organization will also help you find a house that qualifies for the assistance program. Your counselor will be able to help you work through the process.

Single moms may face a rough road, but the good news is that there is help available. Take advantage of the programs you qualify for, because you are, after all, doing the job of two people. With financial assistance programs like these, you can ease up some of the strain on your monthly household budget or get some of the things you need for your family but simply cannot afford on your own.

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This year turning Mom into the Mother of the Bride comes with one important prerequisite. Talk to the bride. She’ll appreciate you listening to her input for years to come. Don’t be afraid of this exercise – there are plenty of color and style options to accommodate not only your look but her preferences as well this year. You might even be pleasantly surprised with what you discover and relieved to have a place to start. But don’t start shopping yet. Next consider the key attributes of color, length, style and body, which when combined successfully will ensure you and your dress are a spectacular hit on the bride’s big day.

Color

The two aspects of color that you want to reconcile are simply 1) the color theme of the wedding and 2) the colors that looks good on you. En vogue dress colors especially for Mother of the Brides this year (and especially for outdoor weddings) include “apricot, peach, lemon and golden olive hues” reports Hanna of Here Comes the Guide. If the wedding is taking place later in the year, get more vivid with amethyst, mahogany, or rose. If none of these colors will do, then take your queue from the bride, who may elect to step into 2009′s trend for lots of bold, saturated colors like green, lavender or blue, but especially blue, with all of its brilliant peacock splendor including deep violet blue, clear bright blue, green blue, cobalt blue, turquoise, and palace blue. If the bride’s theme is blue, but blue doesn’t work on you, trying choosing from among the many delightful accent colors you will see in a wedding regardless of its color theme, like champagne, cream, bone, taupe, tan, silver, shimmering light gold, or beige

Selecting colors around a wedding’s theme is only the first step. Ask also what colors look good on you. If you are unsure, it’s best to keep two or three neutral colors in mind while you decide what looks best against your natural coloring. As you shop, hold clothing items of differing colors up to your face and judge for yourself. You can even go so far as to invest in a professional style guide, like the ones available at istylista. When you look back on wedding photos years from now, you will not regret the investment!

In all cases, stay away from white, ivory, and black. And interestingly, even though blue is “in” this year, one of its shades definitely is not – navy. Don’t be caught wearing it! Just remember to pick a color that coordinates well with the wedding theme or its bridal attendants – you don’t have to match exactly! – and one which looks great on you at the same time.

Length

The Mother of the Bride’s dress length should be similar to the bridesmaids’ dresses, within Mom’s comfort zone. Tea length (a gown hemmed to end at the shin) becomes an acceptable compromise when bridesmaids’ dresses measure LA knee length or shorter.

Style

Continuing the trend from last year, stores are stocking Mother of the Bride dresses in youthful styles. No more stodgy lines and drab tones. This is Mom’s year for satisfying a little chicly red carpet fantasy of her own! Take your queue from designing leaders like Karen Miller, Scala, Ursula and Cachet. Also look to bride styles for inspiration, who will be more angelic this year in soft fabrics like chiffons and drapings. But don’t go overboard. You’ll be safe in simple, graceful lines with little frill and appropriate accessories which compliment, rather than compete with, the bride’s wedding dress. A perennial favorite for Mom, especially petite moms, is the two piece skirt suit. These separates are popular because each piece can be ordered in different sizes for a more tailored fit.

Your Body

Be comfortable in your own skin, and in your dress. This means understanding your body shape, your natural colors, owning your age, and putting a dash of your personality into your ensemble. iStylista has an excellent blog article on this topic which you don’t want to miss.

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Financial aid for single mothers is available either through federal welfare services or through private organizations.

Who is qualified?

Not all single mothers can take advantage of special financial help packages. Only those whose earnings fall below a certain level are considered low-income individuals and qualify for welfare benefits. To find out if you qualify for and may avail yourself of federal welfare services, you must complete the application form available at your local welfare office.

Each program has its own income limits. Whether or not your income falls within the limit depends on the type of income you have, your family’s expenses, and any other special circumstances your family may have. Each program also has resource limits. Things that can be converted to cash (bank accounts, stocks, and other properties) are considered to be resources. Only certain non-U.S. citizens may receive welfare benefits. Check with your local office for details.

What happens if you are not qualified?

If you do not qualify for welfare benefits, or if your needs are not covered by any specific welfare program, you may take advantage of grants offered by the U.S. government to single mothers. In exchange for the grant, you must perform some service or task required by the grant terms. There are 900 grant programs offered by 26 federal grant-making agencies. Some grant categories are agriculture, art, and education. You may visit http://www.grants.gov and http://www.neh.gov for details on grant application.

Other sources

Many schools offer scholarships specifically to single mothers. In order to find out about these, you may visit the financial aid office of the school you are currently attending or wish to attend.

There are also some private organizations that give grants and financial assistance to single mothers. Singlemom.com has a “financial gifting program.” It awards cash grants to deserving single mothers every month. Many other similar organizations have grant and financial aid information on the Internet.

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